My name is Becca and I am [gasp] a bridezilla

We've been engaged under two months and a part of my brain has already fenced itself off, put up signs holding that space clear for all things wedding. It started with the mags. Now I was warned about wedding magazines, so I stood back, stopping myself from buying one with thoughts of 'it's so far off! There's no need to obsess!' for all of, oh I don't know, five minutes?

I was in Austria you see for work; thought it might be interesting to see what they include in their wedding magazines there. Then Poland, then Belgium, England... I now have too many to mention without blushing, from an impressive number of countries (not all of which I've been to in the last couple of months... Brussels has some very international newsagents).

To be honest the British mag is winning. The French one is ok and the one from the States is a mix of atrocious and surprisingly cute. The Austrian is the most disappointing, with barely a reaction to be had and the Polish ones are plain scary (yes, I've been given a couple of extra Polish ones,can't think why...)

I blame the magazines for my recent dreams. It is over a year away and we haven't even set a date, but I've already had several wedding nightmares.

They've mainly been set on the wedding day, apart from one where I was trying on absolutely disgusting pouffy dresses and everyone around was saying I had to have one like that. All the other dreams have been related to me forgetting something vitally important, and not realising until the very. last. minute. In one, I was wearing a foul flouncy dress (knee length, black and white, not very weddingy at all) and I suddenly realised I'd forgotten to wash my hair (not to mention getting someone to style it for me, or applying some kind of make-up). It is absolutely pathetic.

If I were to analyse the dreams, I think I'd decide they are based on me not living up to this classic bride fantasy - hair! makeup! pretty pretty things! but I'm not sure this pop-psychology will kill them. Perhaps when we do make the first big organisational arrangements (er, I'm thinking venue and date are kind of basic) this will slow down or even stop until the standard couple of months beforehand.

Or, I could just turn this blog into a wedding nightmare all of its own, where I take my (surprisingly persistant- what are you all doing here still?) readers through each flower choice and bridesmaid's hairband.

As if I'll have the energy for that.

Looking on the bright side, at least I'm not having nightmares about my husband to be. Either that means I have no doubts about that side of the wedding, the part that actually means something and will affect the rest of my life, oooorrr I'm a horrible superficial product of the hateful (I first typed that 'hatful', which it also is, in England anyway) wedding industry.

I'll have option 1 please. Shh.