call an expert you say? nah

My mum has always wanted me to be a plumber. It's a useful profession, and you always have work. I got sidetracked with a law masters and endless voluntary projects, but maybe one day I'll make her proud and do a plumbing course. Maybe that's why I went for a Pole, to cover my plumbing needs... (We all know that Poles are natural plumbers. Knowledge of pipes and waterworks comes with the nationality.)

Our bath had a plug that wouldn't plug. You'd turn the knob that was supposed to close the plug, and nothing would happen. You'd turn some more, nothing... more, nothing... more, it would make a creaking sound and fall off. So, what with my intended profession and Marek's natural ability, we decide to buy the part and fit it ourselves.

Ha.

On Friday night, after a couple of G&Ts, we decided that NOW was the time to do the plumbing. Obviously. We assembled our tools, our pipes and the bottle of gin. Things started off well. We got the old pipes out, fixed the new pipes and siliconed everywhere, to stop the water even thinking of leaking.

We turned the tap, ran the water and saw the leak.

It was ok though because Marek had a theory. He'd noticed that the waste water pipe had been wobbly, and thought it may have come out of the hole it had been pushed into. In the wall. On the far side of the bath. The bath that is slightly sunk into the ground and obstructs any access to any wall whatsoever.

To check the status of the suspect pipe, I stuck my hand into the hole and photographed the far wall, under the bath.

Exhibit 1: Pipe not in hole. Damn. Dirty under our bath innit?

Yup. Pipe out of hole.

Faffing around blind, trying to poke the pipe back in and taking occasional photos to check progress didn't work.

We poured ourselves another drink.

'What we need' Marek mused, swirling the ice around his glass, 'is a way of seeing that hole. We need some way of looking at it. Using mirrors. Or a screen.'

'Oh yes!' I said, totally getting where he was coming from 'like doctors have for keyhole surgery!'

'Do you have a cable for that camera to connect it to the tv?' he asked, getting up, and going to get the tv in question.

I brought the cable through, and connected it to the tv, lowering the camera into the hole under the bath, next to the light Marek had already positioned there.

Exhibit 2: The tv, connected to the camera, showing the operation area, lit by the lamp.

I couldn't look.

'Is it working?' I asked, and the beam on Marek's face was enough.

In a flash, the pipe was in the hole, the leak had gone and we were sitting there laughing at ourselves. Surrounded by pipes and cables, we couldn't help but be a bit proud of our high-tech solution to a very basic problem though.

We're not available for call-outs just yet.