No really, we have plenty more. Help yourself!
In a world where young girls are stoned to death for daring to love someone of a different religion and babies are stolen from their beds, the theft of a pot plant is pretty insignificant.
It's way down there with irritants like knotty hair and stale doughnuts really. Not life-threatening, or even harmful. It rankles though. It irritates and taunts from a distance, and makes you feel a little bit violated, like someone has reached slimy fingers into your nostrils or laughed open-mouthed in your face.
This morning we added this poster to the drear that is out communal stairwell:
For those of you who haven't found the time in your busy lives to learn the Polish language (purlease, as if any of you have an excuse...), I will translate.
MISSING PLANT!
Right you lot (no, not really, this is like a formal address to the people of the house, I don't know what we'd say... Dear people? no, we'd probably leave that bit out in English, ignore it).
For quite a while there have been three plants between the third and fourth floor. (God aren't translations weird, that's a bit crappy, like plants have been scattered between the two floors, lying about getting in the way. You get it though right? On the windowsill I mean, between floors, three plants. OK, good.)
Unfortunately, since Sunday there are now only two...
Someone probably borrowed it rather than stealing it, because that wouldn't make much sense (or, I prefer the 'that would be ridiculous/pathetic/sad' translation. Take your pick.) It was a very common plant and the plant pot was cheap, but they just went well together.
We hope it'll be back in place soon.
We didn't want to be all scary obsessive about it, going door to door and peering into rooms to try and spot the plant. But we didn't want to let it go either, without the slighest little squeak. It may not be much but it's ours, and the stupid thing, Mr. (or Mrs.) plant-pot-stealer, is that if you'd asked, I would have given you a damn spider plant. We have loads of them hanging about.
So, just so you know we noticed and we think you're just a teeny bit pathetic, we put up the poster.
By the time I got back from work this evening someone had nicked the damn poster.
It's way down there with irritants like knotty hair and stale doughnuts really. Not life-threatening, or even harmful. It rankles though. It irritates and taunts from a distance, and makes you feel a little bit violated, like someone has reached slimy fingers into your nostrils or laughed open-mouthed in your face.
This morning we added this poster to the drear that is out communal stairwell:
For those of you who haven't found the time in your busy lives to learn the Polish language (purlease, as if any of you have an excuse...), I will translate.
MISSING PLANT!
Right you lot (no, not really, this is like a formal address to the people of the house, I don't know what we'd say... Dear people? no, we'd probably leave that bit out in English, ignore it).
For quite a while there have been three plants between the third and fourth floor. (God aren't translations weird, that's a bit crappy, like plants have been scattered between the two floors, lying about getting in the way. You get it though right? On the windowsill I mean, between floors, three plants. OK, good.)
Unfortunately, since Sunday there are now only two...
Someone probably borrowed it rather than stealing it, because that wouldn't make much sense (or, I prefer the 'that would be ridiculous/pathetic/sad' translation. Take your pick.) It was a very common plant and the plant pot was cheap, but they just went well together.
We hope it'll be back in place soon.
We didn't want to be all scary obsessive about it, going door to door and peering into rooms to try and spot the plant. But we didn't want to let it go either, without the slighest little squeak. It may not be much but it's ours, and the stupid thing, Mr. (or Mrs.) plant-pot-stealer, is that if you'd asked, I would have given you a damn spider plant. We have loads of them hanging about.
So, just so you know we noticed and we think you're just a teeny bit pathetic, we put up the poster.
By the time I got back from work this evening someone had nicked the damn poster.
posted by Becca | 6:13 pm
10 Comments:
But posters are cheaper even than spider plants - keep putting it back up and one day you'll catch them taking it down.
If i were you ,I would call the police, explain the situation, give them a photo of the plant and go door to door.
why not ?
The poster rules. It was probably pulled down by some guilt-ridden neighbour...
Oh yes, war has been declared gs, I will keep printing the posters...
I think the police have better things to do than go in search of a spider plant, anon. Anyway, I have another plant ready to go out into the battle zone if our campaign is unsuccessful this week.
Yeah Krista, I'm looking each neighbour I meet in the eye and saying a cheery hello. I'm hoping the culprit will give him/herself away :)
that has cheered up my afternoon, not that i am not distraught for your missing plant, but the genius of the missing plant poster....love it.
I recommend a decoy plant, complete with hidden camera and anti-theft paint that rubs off onto the assailant, catch them in the act...robbing b*$&^%ds!
Maybe they removed the poster because of the spelling mistakes. -)
good plan Keji... wonder where I can get that paint.
Care to expand anon?
troche vs trochę
tez vs też
The second one seems to be a typo, though.
Ach typos don't count. Anyway my neighbours aren't highbrow enough to be offended by a missing ę or ż :)
not sure about that paint...i've heard of it, but not sure where you'd get such magic...does it even exist?
Post a Comment
<< Home