Holiday Hangover

Christmas was full of family and food. It was raised happy voices and footsteps running up stairs. It was seeing people I rarely see, and remembering how great it is to talk with people who really understand me. It was meeting a man I thought would never forgive me and realising he has. It was a feast of mixed cultures and traditions, borrowings and inventions alongside turkey and cranberry sauce.

New Year was a family of four swelling into six and almost bursting at ten. It was meeting the fiancee of a friend I have known all my life and seeing him shine with happiness. It was the soft disappointment of rain falling on snowy mountains, soon forgotten when the snow set in and piled into tall drifts. It was a face wash and a fresh start, full of good intentions and hope.

The return to Warsaw was a hard bump back to earth. It was the thin line between recklessness and evil; a man I have known and worked with since arriving in Warsaw, accused of an awful crime - hiding his HIV and spreading it intentionally. It was the harsh reality of plans and meetings and schedules. It was the shrinking from the future's uncertainties and focusing on the positive, while surrounded by this big mess.