Les gens qui ne rient jamais ne sont pas des gens sérieux

Be who you are and say what you mean, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind

Friday, January 20, 2006

It's no good

I give up. It's just not possible to colour coordinate with this many layers. I have never in my life worn so many clothes all at the same time. It's already driving me mad and it takes so much time!

First you have to rummage through your knicker drawer finding underwear which will cover the maximum amount of skin. Then you have to identify the tights, socks, short-sleeved t-shirt, long-sleeved t-shirt, trousers (don't even think about wearing a skirt, unless of course it's over the trousers), hooded jumper and thick cardigan. Then we can add a second pair of socks, the boots, the coat and finally the scarf, hat and gloves.

Then up goes the hood of the hooded jumper over the hat and the scarf wraps around as much of your face and neck as possible before the coat is zipped right. up. I find putting the coat's hood up for good measure is a nice touch.

Yes, I look ridiculous, but no I don't give a flying fart because I'm warm and in -17 you are more likely to be worrying about your nose falling off than matching accessories.

Talking of noses, I have a piece of advice you will not fully appreciate until you are in such arctic temperatures as we are finding ourselves in here at the moment.

If you have the slightest hint of a runny nose, blow it before you go outside. Honestly.

When I went out this morning and took my first inhalation, my nostril hairs all froze rigid. This would be ok, if you didn't need to breathe, say. But with every breath you take in through your nose, little frozen spears jab your brain. Take a big sniff and you are doomed.

Unfortunately breathing through the mouth is equally unpleasant, as it sends the freezing air to the core of your being, and if you breathe in and out of a mouth covered by a scarf the scarf first turns damp, and then frozen, which just turns your lips blue, and who wants blue lips?

'Tis a tough life.

I copied from Aaron and now have my own little weather pixie, just to the left there. She's cute huh? You can now follow every plummet in temperature from the comfort of your own glowing computer screen.

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Blogger Edd said...

Ha ha, I agree, frozen nostril hair sucks. The worst part is how a congested nose becomes worse; seriously stuffed up in that cold, thanks to water taking up more volume when frozen. Damn you water! You chemical enigma you!

4:21 pm  
Blogger beatroot said...

Weather pixies are cool! Like everything else around here...

10:50 pm  
Anonymous Dezso said...

Maybe, this you will find somewhat disgusting. But what would you do with your poor running nose, while jogging?
Then comes the old 'sporty' way of getting around the handkerchief business, with some air jet boost. Sometimes wanderers must be brave enough to show cultural diversity, as well.
However, I must confess this is not the most 'gut swirling' execution of this job I have ever heard of :). I am sorry that I could not resist to comment your winter outdoor drudgery report.
Jog on,

6:20 pm  
Anonymous Kinuk said...

Layers, layers, layers. One of my most memorable lessons in the ESL group that I was placed into when I arrived in Canada was one of surviving the winter. Our ancient teacher (I swear, he must have been at least 70) talked about putting on long thermals under clothes and unbuttoned one of his shirt buttons to pull the thermal underwear through and show us! Wowsers. Ick.

Yeah, it's pretty cold out there. But at least it's sunny. I don't care if it drops to -50, as long as it's sunny. No more cloud. Please?

7:43 am  

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