Les gens qui ne rient jamais ne sont pas des gens sérieux

Be who you are and say what you mean, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

THE smallest bath in the world

I love our flat. It's not too big; not too small; we have our stuff where we need it; the things that belong to the landlady fade nicely into the background; we have a big old-fashioned tiled heating thing which keeps us nice and toasty; the parks and shops are close; the neighbours are friendly enough and there is excellent public transport into the centre.


Our bathroom (just the right size; enough cupboard space; heated towel rail; washing machine nicely tucked away) has a big problem. The bath.

This is our bath.

Cute eh? Isn't it clever how they managed to find a bath just the right size for that space? Isn't it nice to have a bath in such a compact bathroom. Nothing beats a shower like a long soak in a nice steamy bath.

Except, of course, if it's tiny.

If you are 1m 80 tall (5' 11" for those who haven't met metric yet) and don't manage to attain the same level of relaxation when your knees are poking out of the water and inhabiting the cold air around your ears, this is not the bath for you. If you object to the fact that if you straighten your legs you find yourself sitting up so straight you are afraid your head will bump the ceiling, this is not the bath for you. If you like to lie in the bath for hours reading a good book, surrounded by candles and soft music and NOT having to move every two minutes to cover a different part of your body with warm water to stop it getting frostbite and falling off, THIS IS NOT THE BATH FOR YOU.

Still, who wants to lie in warm water for hours? It's just about keeping clean right? None of this scented oil and candles nonsense, you just need a splash of water and a bar of soap. The shower wins every time. Quick, effective, you're always covered with water, always warm, no fuss.

You saw the shower head in the picture, right? Right. You see the handy bracket up on the wall to fix the shower head to, right? Wrong.

For showers you have to stand in the tiny bath and hold the shower head in one hand. That's the easy part. To lather the shower gel, apply the shampoo, whatever else you do in the shower, you have to decide between two options:

1. Turn off the water, stand shivering in the bath while you try and squeeze out the gel, shampoo, whatever and then try and turn the shower back on, with hands that are covered in soap suds, cursing the fact you didn't just leave it running;

2. Leave the water running, thoughts rushing through your head about how fortunate you are to have running water in the first place, how water is a valuable natural resource which shouldn't be wasted, and watch it swirling down the plughole before picking up the shower head again and rinsing.

It's such a hassle. Of course there is the 'crouching-in-the-bath-pretending-it's-warmer-if-you-stay-low' option, or the 'half-bath-half-shower' option but either way there's no denying it's not like having a NORMAL bath or shower.

Phew. Rant over. I feel better now. That's a big weight off my mind. And I still love our flat.

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Anonymous Kinuk said...

Those mini-baths are amazing! They're like Japanese mini-baths only shallower. A friend of mine had a bath, full-size and all, but no shower grip. So, when we came to visit, it was all about the shivering (with only the feet getting warm water) as I applied shampoo and shower gel. I think all pretense should be dropped, take the mini-bath out and put in a shower. :)

10:49 am  
Blogger Edd said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:06 pm  
Blogger Edd said...

Woops, what I meant to say was:

That's hilarious. Poor knees...
At least your bath doesn't have painT on it though, like ours.

2:11 pm  
Blogger Becca said...

Kinuk, if the flat was mine the bath would have been replaced by a nice german-style power shower by now. However, I have a feeling the landlady would be a bit put out if she discovered her newly redecorated bathroom had been pulled apart... :)

Edd, I have a feeling I'd prefer a full-size bath, paint and all. Er, why does it have paint on it again?

8:56 pm  
Blogger Edd said...

If I knew that, I'd know a lot more than I do now... Luckily there are two baths in this house, you'll be ok when you visit. (Plus Louisa "the crazy landlady" Lau promises to get it cleaned and fixed up nicely very soon).
At least the showerhead is good.

5:09 am  
Blogger Becca said...

Two baths!! Luxury.

8:53 am  
Anonymous steve said...

becca there is also the hold the shower head between your knees why you soap up method, at least that way the warm water splashes on your feet and it does actually feel warmer, i have 2 years of experience with this technique from my time in spain.

2:41 am  
Blogger Becca said...

Advice gratefully appreciated steve ;)

9:16 am  
Anonymous Sheffield Locksmiths said...

I had a similar problem when I moved into my new flat. Except my bath may have been a tadge bit bigger than that! What I ended up doing was having a shower fitted. In wasn’t sure if it was something normal plumbers deal with but I found one who did. From what I can remember they were called Able Group. It was really easy a simple! Would defiantly recommend them for this sort of problem!

1:21 pm  

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